Comments.
Everywhere we go.
Everywhere.
I went to the grocery store with my 4 youngest and got told 6 times that I "had my hands full." I was in the store 20 minutes. My children were being perfect (they are not always but that time they were - God knew this sleep deprived mama would need well behaved children that day :)).
It comes with having a big family.
Add having a bi-racial family and you just open yourself wide open to every thought that may come to those passing by.
I marvel many times because I do not feel the need to comment to those around me - for no reason, at all, except to air my thought - weird.
99% of the time I can handle this with grace and engage in conversation. After all, I have only understood much of adoption and orphans in the last few years. What a great opportunity. Many times I have walked away from those "impromptu Q and A sessions" praising God for the opportunity to share God's story in our lives. We have had flight attendants bawl and hug us and tell us that we have given them hope for the first time in a long time. We have had many share their deep desires to adopt or have more children and ask us to pray for them. Many, many beautiful moments that would have never happened had we not been so.... visible.
But then there are the others.
It can be exhausting. Really.
I read this post and thought it was good and the discussion after was interesting.
May I learn from this and realize that I have the opportunity to build up and encourage people [even in a short encounter] or bring thoughtless discouragement for no reason at all.
God, help me to live Colossians 4:5-6 in "those moments." Amen
Colossians 4:5-6
5 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 6Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Loved that post! It never ceases to amaze me when someone asks stupid questions about our adoption right in front of my kids! RUDE! They are my kids!! Brings me back to a trip to SF and the traffic was horrible. Jeff was grumbling and Grace @ age 2 from her car seat said, "some people are just dumb Daddy"!
ReplyDeleteGreat post to make you think! I can totally understand the frustration with small talk and silly questions! I just hate to see that there are so many rules about conversation. I once read a list of things not to say to a military wife and now I'm afraid to talk to one and express my gratitude. Rules make me hesitate to ever talking to anyone about anything out of fear of saying something ignorant! But the truth is, I am ignorant but want to understand! I just pray I never become unapproachable to somebody who is sincerely interested in how my eye-catching/head-turning family was created :)! When people stop talking to me and saying dumb things, that must mean I look miserable and ready to pounce! :) I'm very proud of my big blended family and feel very blessed that the Lord has trusted me to be the mama!
ReplyDeleteAgree Jodi. I too want to be approachable and live Colossians 4:5-6 filled with grace and an answer but boy does my flesh want come screaming out sometimes. :)
ReplyDeleteThese are such intimate decisions that they are treading on.
But God never said it would be easy to answer the call and this is one area that I struggle in.
Yes!!! I'm so excited..or something like that...to hear the comments when I'm walking around 9 months pregnant with me crew in tow! Oh that will create some priceless opportunities...I"M SURE OF IT!!!
ReplyDeleteI totally hear ya! Sometimes the comments just seam down right mean! I'm usually too stunned to say anything at all! Especially when people freely tell me how awful and worn out I look! I guess that just means they're used to seeing me look youthful and gorgeous! Lol! Yeah, right! Sounds good anyway! :)
ReplyDeleteI get that too - all.the.time. Love your perspective and I need to adopt it! :)
ReplyDeleteI just could not imagine saying stuff like that so I throws me off every.time.
I started trying to beat people to the punch when they would see that we adopted #6 by saying "we are crazy." Then one day I thought what am I doing? I don't feel crazy - I feel blessed and like I am walking in obedience for once in my life!
I think you should just prepare flyers with FAQ bulleted statements and hand them to people who stare! :) I sure feel like doing that sometimes! Speaking of reality show...all big families should have a hidden camera when they go in public. You could make a great show just with the dumb things people say and do! :) That would be a hoot! And maybe you ARE a bit "crazy" but that's why God picked you! I for one am proud to be crazy! I know you are too! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat I find rude is when people ask me what race my little one is. I don't care if he is purple with polka dots, he is MY sweet baby boy!
ReplyDeleteIt was also hard while waiting to be blessed with our sweet baby, people constantly bringing up that we had not been chosen yet, and thinking it was okay to tell us how we "should" be going about an adoption. Sometimes we just have to be patient........and have faith.