Friday, January 8, 2010


I have so many questions that I know will not be answered this side of heaven about Isaiah. 

Mostly I have questions for his birth mother.  I have nothing but compassion in my heart for her - compassion and sadness.  I wonder the big one - WHY?  What happened to bring her to the point of not caring for him?  Was it something out of her control?  Was it physical or was it desperation of a dark reality that is poverty - unable to feed him or properly care for him?

I dream of meeting her someday.  Telling her how beautiful Isaiah is, on the inside and out.  I would love to stare into her eyes to see a resemblance - he has beautiful eyes - does he have her eyes?  Isaiah also has a very kind and tender spirit - does she?  Is she sweet and tender?  He is very smart and looks at detail - does she?

I have so many - I could write a mile long list.

Not knowing and knowing that I may never know (on this side) can be hard.  I know that the real story is probably pretty ugly and sad.  I can not imagine what would have brought her to that place.

But as I look down the counter and see Isaiah and then Lily right behind him - my heart breaks a little more.  And I pray that if something every happened to me, where I could no longer mother my children, that someone would step up.  That someone would step up to care for my Lily.  To enjoy her way and even her looks - even if they are not familiar and unlike theirs.  Even if her ways are not like theirs.

Adoption can be a multi faceted thing - argued among others - is it right?  is it wrong?  How on earth a person could say it is wrong to adopt just blows my mind now that I know Isaiah.  Wrong?  Wrong to take a child into your home?  To take a child that has NO ONE and say YES I WILL - I will care for you - no, I did not give birth to you but you need a mommy - you need someone to make sure you are warm in the middle of the night - you need someone that makes sure you are growing emotionally, physically and spiritually - YES I WILL. 

The adoption process/bonding/attaching is not easy - but DO NOT let that become the excuse.  I am pretty sure that it was not easy for Isaiah to have the first 2 years of his life filled with confusion - I am sure that it was not easy for his birth mother to come to the place in her life that she did - I am sure that it was not EASY. 

I sit in my comfy home, waiting for my tea brew - while other mothers are dying, abandoning and are becoming unable to care for their babies.  I pray that I do not waste the gift that God has given me.  It IS a gift that I sit here - what am I going to do with it?  Say, "wow, sucks to be you?"   No way!  I am going to get messy with the Lord.  Get in that pit and hopefully shine some light in a dark place through Christ Jesus who I desire to follow and serve FEARLESSLY.


  1. Beautiful Sha...just beautiful!

  2. You know, saying yes to adopting has not only affected his momma (if she only knew) but it also affects so many others such as your extended, us! And by your obedience Sha, I tell you something, I take WAY less for grantude. I am so much more aware.My heart is more open, and I want to serve in an area I have never considered. So, Sha, thank you for taking on Isaiah...and as we know, those tinicles of the Lord keep reaching we never knew were even touching. Thank you!

  3. Oh, I love this post! Adoption is truly beautiful! A mother's love is so beautiful, how much more is God's love for us. It is hard to imagine! Thanks for sharing your heart!

  4. Thanks for sharing. There is so much that I could share, living and ministering in Uganda for six years, but I will leave that for another time. What I would like to share is that, truly God's heart is for these precious children! And He has asked us to care for them, in His name.

  5. Wonderful post!

    We brought home 3 siblings from Ghana (in 2008). Their mom and dads had died. But, we did get to meet their 2 older (young adult) brothers. Sad situation. But, thankful that the Lord chose our family to bring them home.

    mama of 13


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