Wednesday, November 18, 2009

So hows it going?

The main question right now is - how is it going? Honestly I have to say WAY better than I ever imagined! Our issues are so small and doable right now. #1, 2 3 & 4 have blown me away how they love on him - so gentle and sweet! I was watching Hunter juggle for Isaiah tonight and the light in Isaiah's eyes, watching him, was amazing. I told Hunter I can see how much he is going to look up to him. All of them are forming their own bond with him in their own ways and in some ways that has been my favorite part so far. Isaiah lets down any walls that the life he has led before may have formed, when he is with the kids.

I think a lot of the struggle these past few weeks have been MY struggle and frustration more than Isaiah's. I did not do well in Africa. I missed my kids at home so bad I could hardly think straight. Africa and the culture did not bother me - it was being away from my kids - I did not feel like myself at all. I just wanted to get Isaiah and get out of there back to my hubby and kids. It was hard for me to bond with him - It was hard for me to do anything, really. I had always thought I would do this and that when I was in Uganda but I did not factor in the crippling depression I would get while there. I guess I have been a stay at home mom for 10 + years, no job - ALWAYS with my kids - and then boom - "don't worry, have fun, enjoy this time" - nope, didn't work. The thing is, I love being at home. I love taking care of my kids. I love spending my time just keeping the home fires burning - I am really a hermit at heart (a very social hermit if there could be such a thing). But more than all of that I love My Jesus more. More than ALL of it, and for him I would do it again and yes, probably will. ---- Deep breath all my loved ones, not anytime soon! :)

For Jesus I would do it again. You may ask why? Why, if it was that hard and depressing? Well because we are never promised that following Christ will "feel" fabulous, comfortable or easy. Was it fabulous for the apostles to be beaten time and time again? Was it easy for Jesus to keep preaching, though at times he was trying to get away for some rest? No, but he saw the people and had compassion and then he preached and healed. Our examples in God's Word make it very clear. If you think following Christ does not include suffering I challenge you to and search the word suffering - scroll through the New Testament verses - you will get the idea really fast. It is something we share with Christ.

I have been reading a lot lately about how in our weakness He is made strong. Honestly I look at my time in Africa and think - God was I even letting your light shine through - was I SOOO weak that You could not even use me? But as I decompress from the trip I see how God was with me...

It could have ONLY been God that did all of that in less than 3 weeks - ONLY God! He moved mountains and paved ways and I take no credit for any of it - God did it. Many people have asked how we independently adopted that fast and I say ONLY GOD - He walked us through it all. From the finances here at home to the judges in Uganda - ONLY GOD!

To God be the Glory! I desire to passionately serve Him all my days! His promises never fail!

The blessings! - many times I write about what is heavy on my heart but I do want you to know about the blessings - here are some pics to give you a taste.


  1. oh, sorry that you had such a hard time in Africa. i know what you mean about just LOVING being at home with your family, though.

    seriously, who else could do all that, but God?! what an amazing, blessed journey this is!

    so good to see your family all together.

  2. Glad you are home and all is going well. I know exactly what you are talking about, I missed my kids so much it hurt to breathe. I was depressed and weepy the whole time. I too thought that I would do all sorts of things in Uganda, but it turns out all I could do is survive. Five weeks was far to long to be without them. I guess I should have been more prepared, because when we went on a five DAY cruise....I was ready to be home after 2days. Blessings to you and your family!

  3. Thanks so much for sharing an update and your heart struggles. I LOVE, love being at home and having all eight of my kids at home all the time with me! The days can be challenging at times, but I too do awful when I am seperated from them.

  4. Sha, this is one of the best postings as of date. Really, I love it!

  5. I am SO with you. It wasn't the culture, the people, even the red feet that bothered me. It was missing my family. I don't think I was prepared at ALL for that kind of pain. Something I pray that I never have to feel again!

  6. Headed to Uganda this summer... can't wait to read through your old blog posts for your perspective on it all!!

  7. I knew you would miss your family so much, and that it would be especially hard after Justin was gone - and yet I saw you wanting to do what Jesus asked of you. That's why I'm not surprised when you say you would do it again. Thanks for a beautiful, honest post.

    (And yes, you are a VERY social hermit!)

    Love the pictures! I seem to have a new "favorite" each time you post. Can I have 4 favorites this time? They're wonderful!


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