we all need help up sometimes

Witnessing new life come into this world is something that I never get over and love every.single.time.  This time was extra special because my heart was already rejoicing that my niece had delivered beautiful Maubry Ann at 1 AM.  Congrats Chaney and Lashae.  This Great Aunt is in love.

Several years ago Sam and Jeremy were asked by their fellowship to come shepherd a small flock here in our small town.  They knew it would be challenge but through their faithfulness and God's strength they now have a thriving church they pastor.  Jeremy is known for sticking to the truth and what better reputation can a pastor have? 

When I met Sam we realized we had much in common, and she was an instant sister.

What an honor to be asked to document Addison's arrival.

Daddy spoke Galatians 1:15 over her.

Galatians 1:15 "But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother's womb, and called me by his grace,"

Sam is very close to her mom but distance kept her from being there.  With the beauty of technology, she was present [via Skype] through the entire labor and delivery!

First cry.

She was glowing.

Addison 7lb. 14 oz.
[exactly what I guessed ;)]

Meeting Grandma and Grandpa.

What a treasure, what a gift.  Praise the Lord!

She is enough.

In 40 days my first born babe and I get to go to a land I fell in love with years ago.  We are a little on the excited side…. OK - we are A LOT excited!!!

A year ago Ashton started baking her way there.  She earned every dollar [with the exception of a few mysterious givers (that had divine timing I might add) and a friend or two that just wanted to bless her with funds - thank you].  I am so proud of her.  She was diligent to keep the goal in sight.  The goal?

A plane ticket to serve, love and to embrace all that is Ug@nda, East Africa!

As we talked and dreamed together I kept asking the Lord how this should shape up.  A mother daughter team?  A women's team?  A youth team?  What is it Lord?

I prayed, fasted and still did not have clarity.  I asked a friend or two if they wanted to go with their daughters but God had other plans in the works.  Hu.  OK, Lord what do you have for this trip?

About a month ago Justin and I had a late-into-the-night-talk about it and we came to complete unity with clarity.  

She is enough.

Taking a team would fill my measure of enough.  God's plans are much greater. 

God has placed only a few precious souls [and by a few, I mean 6 (+), Lord willing ;) ] into our care.  He has given us these children to pour our everything into, to disciple, to nurture.  What a great privilege we take very seriously.

A big part of discipling our children is teaching them about what is precious and close to God's heart.  James 1:27 says "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."

Not just that verse, although that pretty much sums up a pure motivation, there is so much more.

I wish I could type all that is in my heart about Ug@nda …. about what I learn, about how it changes me.

It's like my view gets fogged by the comforts of this home.  I can still see, but it's blurry.  Spending time in that place strips away the build up.  That place breaks me.  What matters most comes clear.  

I really don't feel like words really can do justice so I will quit trying. 

Many have asked what the plan is.  Here is the grand plan:  We are off to serve where we can, love where God shows and enjoy our time there and eachother.  

There is our "plan."  

Somewhere along the way we hope to soak in the richness of three generations being together in that place.  Ashton's G-ma lives there with some of our favorite little peeps in all the land.  Most of our time will be with them.  Pretty sure a couple days I will focus on some paperwork torture fun that needs done.  Much of our daily lives here are intertwined with daily life there… how great to be in the same place for a bit.

40 days to pray.  40 days until we go!

Quiet Blog, Loud Days!

I have been a bit quiet with recording our lil life on here.  Probably because it has been so loud in this house. :)

What a wonderful overwhelming season we are in!

In the past month we have:  started school, had 2 birthdays, started homeschool, participated in 3 [!] soccer teams, gone camping [twice], family pictures, had lots of company and hiked up part of Mt. Shasta.  I do believe I am leaving a few things out.

My house is a mess and the laundry is piled high.  I even had a dream last night that I kept trying to pile forks and knives on the counter and they kept falling…. even in my dream my house is messy!  Now, don't get me wrong, I love a clean house [and apparently I would sleep sounder] but you know what a messy house means in this season?  That we are FULL of life!

Whenever I start to grumble about the calendar being too full, I stop and praise God because of what it is full of…. soccer, hiking, school, dinner dates, fun….. LIFE!

Things could have looked a lot different for us this Fall.  I am so thankful.

Life can change in a moment and it will, none of us are immune.  With that in mind, we are VERY busy with PRAISE these days.

Praise the Lord!

i love them.

Psalm 96:11-13

English Standard Version (ESV)

¹¹ Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice;
    let the sea roar, and all that fills it;
¹²     let the field exult, and everything in it!

Then shall all the trees of the forest sing for joy
¹³     before the Lord, for he comes,
    for he comes to judge the earth.

He will judge the world in righteousness,

    and the peoples in his faithfulness. 

God, You are so faithful.  The work of Your hand screams Your Might and Power!  May I trust in you all the more this day.  Amen

an old enemy...

I use to have an old enemy that hung around most days.

Fear.

There was a knot in my stomach, much of the time, named the "what ifs…"

"What if he falls from the tree and breaks his neck."
"What if the horse spooks and throws her."
"What if he falls into a bucket and drowns."
"What if he flips his quad and I don't hear it."
"What if someone pulls in the driveway and hits my babies."
"What if Hubby falls from a pole today."
"What if baby does not wake up from a nap because I put an extra blanket in with her/him."
"What if…. What if… What if…"

It was exhausting!!!! and often manifested itself in yelling, anger and frustration.

The Lord did a work in my heart a few years ago.  Through His Word, MANY circumstances and a few well placed comments my idols were revealed.  Repentance came and I could see my great desire to hold on tight was not from Him.

I felt free.

Actually I felt like I could LIVE [and let my family live].

A few months ago we were blindsided with a major medical condition.  My seemingly SUPER healthy, feisty boy had something growing in his brain - quietly, unseen, causing irreversible damage and some major health issues…. changing his life [our life] forever.

I felt, as a mom, out of control.  Completely.  How could of this happened.

An old enemy reared its ugly head.  The feeling of wanting everyone in a bubble has returned.  "Can we all just STOP, watch a movies and be still?  Let's just take a nap, ok?  Why would you want to swing that high?"

My ear has been inclined to every horror story and sickness more than ever.  "That could be us."

*tear*

I remember the taste of this bondage.

You see, control is a lie straight from the pit.

The lie comes in the form of "if you had only done ____ better then that never would have happened" or "if you had never done _____ that never would have happened."

What a crock.

Let's just walk that through for a minute.  [Join me in the conversations that goes on in my head, will you?]

Evil Knievel.  The man was a nut and known for his crazy stuff.  He jumped over canyons and should have died many, many times.  He died of diabetes at an older age.

Countless missionaries would enter into an area with (foreign to them) diseases and even cannibalistic environments only to live a long full life. [currently reading about one]

Happy, healthy, excited people go watch a movie and wind up dead.

Those are only a few examples and I [re]"get" the picture.

Control is a farce.  God is sovereign and I certainly am not going to change that.

God so graciously reminds us "Do not FEAR."  365 times in The Bible.

Fear is a sin.  It claims LIFE from us.

Can Dawson die in the woods this weekend while packing-in to the wilderness?  Yes.

Could Ashton or her cousin get thrown from a horse today? Yes.

Could our economy crash and poverty wash over our nation, my family? Yes.

Could have Ashton slept walking into the river at camp this week?  Yes. [seriously worried all night about this one this week *rolling eyes*]

Could my daughter and I die in Africa on our next trip.  Yes.

Do I want to live in fear, yelling and just generally being grumpy because of the what ifs?  HEck NO!  That is not the life Jesus wants for me [and you].  He did not give me breath to fix this world.  That was and is His job.

How am I going to work this out [again]?

First, take every thought captive.

2 Corinthians 10:5

American Standard Version (ASV)

⁵ casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ;

knowing…..

Romans 8:6

English Standard Version (ESV)

⁶ For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

I will purpose to loosen the grip through obedience to set my mind on the things of Christ.  And when (and I know it will) the choice to freak or chill comes…. I will remember that I want to truly love my family.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.


Amen.